Poem Number 18

FULL ENGLISH


The isles of grease, the isles of grease !
Where yearning Duffy loved and sung,
Where grew the flabby and obese,
Where Tories rose, and Labour sprung !
The English breakfast fills them yet,
But all is undone, all is debt.

The mountains look on Cumbria –
And Cumbria looks on the sea;
And walking there an hour alone,
I dreamed that life might still be free;
For standing on old Wainwright’s grave,
I could not be a mere wage slave.

A queen sits on the shiny throne
Blanking out that horrible year;
Prince William on the mobile phone,
Sensing her Crown is very near !
He courted Kate in public glare –
Always The Sun is frank and fair !

Why choose AV ? Why choose PR ?
Because the voiceless vote will count
Not only in the smokeless bar,
or when the kettling cops dismount;
Democracy must still improve -
It’s sweet to see the people move.

The X Factor, and easy fame,
Escaping from a dead-end job;
We’re burning the Olympic flame,
For winners, not the angry mob;
For what is left the person here ?
So many lives are lived in fear.

Fill high the glass with alcopops !
Our women dance on spilt cold beer,
And breasts emerge from skimpy tops,
She’ll punch you if you call her: ‘Dear.’
Later, it’s all tears and vomit,
No dinner date – so far from it.

We’re victims of a subtle plan,
Far removed from natural law;
So obsessed with the hunting ban,
Or what the bloody butler saw.
A land of slaves we’ll never be -
Let’s raise the English cup of tea !




Notes: Thanks to Lord Byron for the verse structure.

Duffy, refers to either our Poet Laureate, Carol Ann Duffy, or if you prefer, the singer Duffy.

Wainwright is a famous dead rambler, who loved the great outdoors above anything else.

The famed English cup of tea is of course not English......